Dec 202014
 

Boink N’ Oink Flavored Lube from Wet

Pros:
– Great gag gift
– Long lasting taste
– Doesn’t get sticky or tacky
– Easy to clean
– Paraben free, vegan, and kosher
Cons:
– Expensive
– Scent lingers on skin
– Contains glycerin
Overall:

4star

Boink N' Oink - full image

-About Boink N’ Oink Lube-

Boink N’ Oink from Wet is a water-based, bacon flavored lubricant.  Flavored lubes are best used for oral sex, or other activities that lead up to it (like hand jobs), but can be used for solo pleasure and intercourse in a pinch.  If you don’t care for the way your partner naturally smells or tastes, using a flavored lube can help mask it, creating a more pleasurable experience for everyone involved.  This particular lube is safe for use with condoms, is vegan, kosher, and paraben free.  However, it does contain glycerin, so keep that in mind when purchasing.  Here’s the full list of ingredients:

Glycerin, Water (Aqua), Carboxymethyl Cellulose, Artificial Flavor (Aroma), Pentylene Glycol, Potassium Sorbate

Boink N' Oink - showing thicknessBoink N’ Oink has a medium thickness that leans a little toward the thin side.  It won’t drip and run like water, but you don’t have a lot of time to rub it in after it’s applied.  Being thin might mean you have to be faster about rubbing it in, but it spreads easily and feels light on the skin.  The image to the left shows how quickly it runs after only five seconds, as you can see, it doesn’t take long!

Boink N' Oink - showing it's not tacky, sticky, stringy, or goopyUnlike other flavored lubricants, there isn’t a sticky or tacky feeling when it’s applied or during use, even as it’s being absorbed into the skin.  It feels very wet (imagine that) and never feels goopy or stringy.

Surprisingly, this lube remains slick and smooth for a very long time without needing to reapply.  Because it’s used during oral activities, your saliva naturally helps keep things hydrated.  Should you use the lube in other ways, you may find it doesn’t preform as well.

Though Boink N’ Oink is meant to be flavored/scented like bacon, it slightly misses the mark.  Rather than tasting like the delicious, crunchy pork product, it tastes more like the grease that’s left in the pan (or how I assume it would taste).  It has a very savory, salty taste to it, but not on point enough to say it tastes like bacon.  And accompanied by the chemical background, might not satisfy the bacon fanatic.

The scent is very similar to the taste as it reminds me of fat/grease, but not bacon itself.  It’s close, close enough that in a blindfolded smell test someone might say it was bacon-like, but certainly wouldn’t make their mouth water.

Boink N' Oink - front and back of bottleBoink N' Oink - pop top coverThe greatest thing about Boink N’ Oink, is the bottle.  It has a great pop top that doesn’t leak unless it’s opened, and the plastic is easy to squeeze during application.  The 4.6 oz bottle doesn’t take up a lot of space, but attention is immediately drawn to the label.  The front features a rather stunned cartoon pig with stars to highlight the emotion.  It’s comical and is what makes the product special.  For the person who’s obsessed with bacon, this would be a great gag gift that would likely be displayed rather than used.  The back of the bottle includes the directions, warnings, and ingredients list.

-What we liked-

One of the first things I really noticed after I moved in with my husband, was how he tried to include bacon in nearly every meal – on the side at breakfast, in a wrap for lunch, and on pizza at dinner time.  I enjoyed bacon, but I’d never seen anyone eat it so religiously.  Over the years, I’ve bought him several bacon themed items.  Magnets, lip balm, pj pants, t-shirts; we even have a Christmas ornament that looks like bacon!  In the past he’s joked about how we needed a bacon lube, so when I saw this I couldn’t stop laughing.  It was the perfect fit for us, especially for my bacon loving man.  Great gag gift?  Check!

My husband actually enjoyed the scent and taste of the lube, though agrees that it doesn’t taste exactly like bacon.  He told me it’s something he’d like to pour over ice cream to get that great salty/sweet pairing we both enjoy (not something I think he’d actually do, though he’s surprised me before!).

Because he’s more of a bacon lover, I was the one treated to oral sex the first time.  After about 15 minutes, he said the taste was just as strong as when it was applied, and the scent was also very obvious.  He’s one that doesn’t like using flavored products because he enjoys my natural scent/taste, but if he wanted to use something, he thought this lube was pretty good.

If there’s anything that drives me crazy, it’s a lube that feels sticky or tacky.  That wasn’t an issue at all with this one.  I used it during a blowjob where I took breaks and mostly used my hands, and though I needed to reapply, it never felt unnatural.  I agree with him on the long lasting scent/taste as well, though that wasn’t an added benefit for me.

When it came time to clean up, it was very easy.  What hadn’t already absorbed into the skin was simply wiped away.  Sometimes I feel like I have to shower after playtime because lubes can get sticky as they dry, but that wasn’t the case with this one.  We were able to clean up like we normally do after sex, and cuddle up to fall asleep.

-What we didn’t like-

He and I don’t feel the same way about the smell/taste, so rating this product was a little bit of a struggle for me.  Because it reminds me so much of a greasy pan, I had a hard time remaining turned on and not grossed out.  Nothing kills the mood like imaging a nasty pan full of fat and bits of meat.  EWW!  It was even harder when he was going down on me and all I could think about was that my vulva smelled like fat.  That’s not exactly a pleasant thought when you’re plus sized and being eaten out.  I imagined all sorts of hurtful jokes going through his head, though he was likely just enjoying himself.

Getting past the scent while having my clit pleasured was doable, but the scent lingers on your skin after you’ve wiped it away.  After the handjob/blowjob I gave my husband, I noticed the scent on my hands even after I’d washed them.  So I washed them again, and still it was faintly there.  I had to apply some scented lotion just to get rid of the smell.  And without taking a shower, that’s what your genitals will smell like too.  Pork fat.  Yum (not).

-Overall-

In general, I’m very pleased with how the lube preforms, and he’s happy with the taste and smell.  I guess when you bring the two of us together, we can agree that this is a decent lube.  If nothing else, it definitely makes a great conversation piece when displayed (though a little childish, perhaps) and is the perfect gag gift for the bacon lover that seems to have everything.  If the scent of grease or fat doesn’t get to you and you can ignore the chemical background taste, this might actually be something you enjoy.  It sadly misses the mark on tasting like bacon, but it’s not off by much.

 You can purchase Boink N’ Oink directly from Wet by following this link.

Boink N’ Oink was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review.  This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.

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