Jan 312015

Crotch Rocket from Hole Punch Toys

– Made from silicone
– Unique design
– Available in soft or firm
– Harness compatible/anal safe
– Umm…glitter!
– Expensive
– The soft is a little floppy
– Texture might not be right for everyone


Crotch Rocket - Full image

-About the Crotch Rocket-

The Crotch Rocket from Hole Punch Toys is just one of many unique and interesting pleasure objects available from this creative company.  This particular piece was designed to resemble a rocket blasting off into whichever orifice you desire (naturally leaving behind a glitter-filled smoke cloud).  Though the name might make you assume it’s only designed for use in a crotch, the base makes it safe to use vaginally and anally, both in and out of a harness.

Made from silicone, this dildo is completely body safe, non-porous, latex free, and phthalate free.  When it comes to sex toys, this is one of the best materials to purchase.  Not only is it extremely safe, but is designed to last a lifetime with proper care.  Your Crotch Rocket can be cleaned with soap and water, a sex toy cleaner, or can be sterilized when switching orifices or sharing.  Using a 10% bleach solution, boiling for a few minutes, or cleaning in your dishwasher is all it takes!

Crotch Rocket - silicone giveCrotch Rocket - silicone flexibility Hole Punch Toys offers this product in stiff or soft silicone, giving customers an option that will best suit them.  I chose the soft, and though I don’t have a stiff toy from them to compare it to, it was definitely the right choice for me.  It’s firm enough to easily thrust with, without having to worry about getting too aggressive and ramming it into your cervix.  The surface is shiny and mostly smooth, but does require water-based lubricant in order to glide easily across the skin.  Lint and dust are drawn to it, but it’s easily cleaned by simply rinsing it off.

Crotch Rocket - textured surfaceThe texture of the Crotch Rocket is entirely in the design of the piece.  The silicone is completely smooth, but the bulges of the rocket are very prominent and are attention grabbing in use.  This will either be really stimulating, or fairly uncomfortable depending on your experience level and preferences.

Along both sides of the shaft and across the top, you’ll see a seam.  It’s noticeable when touching the dildo, but it’s not obvious during use.  Most toys that come from Hole Punch will have seams like this because of the molding process (with the exception of C.J Hooker and Fluke).  It’s not a flaw on your toy alone, and it doesn’t change the way their products feel.

The Crotch Rocket isn’t beginner friendly, but it’s not so thick that regular toy users couldn’t enjoy it (or at least work up to it).  Without counting the portholes and fins, the thickest area of the shaft is about 2″ from the tip and narrows from there.  The thinnest part is where the shaft connects to the base (which is also what makes the toy floppy).  Because the design features such prominent bulges, it’s important to note that they add oddly placed girth to the shaft.  The portholes and fins aren’t lined up, so it feels odd for those that aren’t used to larger toys or textured dildos.  The full length of the toy is 8 1/4″ with an insertable length of about 7″.  The thickest area of the shaft, including bulges is 2″ in diameter, but narrows to 1″ just before the base.

Crotch Rocket - full size, compared to hand

Crotch Rocket - packagingCrotch Rocket - included care cardThe Crotch Rocket arrives in a cardboard cylinder tube with a sticker on the outside.  Inside you’ll find the toy and a card thanking you for your purchase and telling you a little about their company and how to care for the item.  You could certainly use the tube for storage, but it’s takes up more room than necessary.  A medium/large toy pouch would work best if you’re looking for something discreet, or you could just leave it out and call it art.  It certainly doesn’t scream that it’s a sex toy, and would blend well with the right memorabilia.

-What I liked-

I love the funky designs you find from Hole Punch Toys.  Seeing a company create products that are not only pleasurable, but also comical and fun, really make them stand out from others.  I always enjoy trying out items from smaller, artisan based companies, and Hole Punch Toys is definitely a company worth checking out.

Crotch Rocket - glitter smoke/where shaft and base connectI was immediately drawn to the design of this particular dildo.  Making the base work into the shaft was a brilliant idea, and one that impressed me.  It’s not just a round base, it’s rounded like a cloud of smoke.  This creativity definitely didn’t go unnoticed, and was something that impressed me right away.  I also really love the shape of the shaft.  It has a nice curve, a rounded point, and details that work well for both pleasure and helping it resemble an actual rocket.

The vibrant colors and awesome glitter make it fun.  No, the sight of this toy doesn’t turn me on, but it brings a big smile to my face.  Sometimes it’s just fun to use products that don’t look naturally sexual.  This is also a fantastic feature if you’re concerned about someone stumbling upon your collection.  If one of my kids saw this, they wouldn’t know what it was for.

-What I didn’t like-

Crotch Rocket - standing My vagina really confuses me sometimes.  One texture covered toy feels amazing, and another makes me uncomfortable.  The bulges on this one just didn’t work right with my body.  I tried thrusting softly, fast, twisting it, etc. and nothing I did worked for me.  The difference in size between the shaft and bulges was too much for me and caused discomfort.  The shape connected well with my G-spot and the size was nice a filling, but the bulges were too much of a distraction for me to wholly enjoy the toy.

The Crotch Rocket is a little on the expensive side.  For a product that’s going to last longer than you (as long as you care for it), it’s a sound investment, but not everyone can hand over nearly $150 for one dildo.  There are other products available from this company that aren’t as expensive, and there’s even a misfit section where you can grab one of their products at a discount.

The soft silicone is a little floppy, but doesn’t prevent it from standing on its own.  This might be more of a concern if you plan on using it in a harness, though I don’t see it causing too much of an issue.  Before you purchase, the product page plainly states that this silicone firmness causes it to become a little floppy, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise when it arrives.


Hole Punch Toys rocks.  They’re a small company that creates vibrant, fun, and quality sex toys.  If you have some extra spending money and enjoy prominent bulges on your sex toys, the Crotch Rocket might be just the toy to fill a void in your collection.  However, if this kind of texture sounds a little too extreme, you might want to check out C.J Hooker or another one of their creative products.

This, and other sex toys can be found at Hole Punch Toys by clicking the banner below!


The Crotch Rocket was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review.  This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.

  3 Responses to “Review: Crotch Rocket from Hole Punch Toys”

  1. Great review. This toy looks fantastic, but I think it’s a bit out of my price range for now.

  2. I love this company’s work…I hadn’t seen the Crotch Rocket before so thanks for enlightening me. You’re right: this toy may not immediately send you into the throes of arousal on sight, but it definitely brings up a grin!

    Great review and great pictures!

  3. Now this is a awesome toy, but it is pricey as well.

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