Sep 242013

I’ve never been someone that can truly become bored, my mind never seems to stop running.  I often have trouble falling asleep at night because thoughts won’t stop circling through my mind.  Sometimes those thoughts spark creativity, sometimes they consider errands that need to be run, but lately those thoughts have been focused on one thing: Love.

We all know that feeling of love toward a family member or friend and know what it feels like to fall in love, but what about people you don’t even know?  Do you love them?  Can you love them?

My husband and I recently purchased a CD, The Heist from Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.  It’s not typically my taste in music, but we heard a few songs on the radio and it appealed to my other half and I didn’t mind it.  When we were listening to it we came across a song called Same Love.  I didn’t catch all the lyrics ’cause we were in the car and chatting, but I typed the title into YouTube when I arrived home.  I was deeply moved by the video and lyrics and couldn’t stop myself from crying.

Now, the premise of the song is about equal rights, and is mostly centered around gay rights.  I’m completely straight but fully believe gender and sexual preference shouldn’t determine whether or not you can get married (that will perhaps be spilled out in another post…), and that part of the song hit me, but there’s one group of lyrics that really opened my eyes.

If I was gay I would think hip-hop hates me

We’ve become so numb to what we’re saying
Our culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ‘em

Call each other faggots
Behind the keys of a message board

A word rooted in hate
Yet our genre still ignores it

“Gay” is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment.
The same fight that led people to walk-outs and sit-ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference

The line about becoming numb to what we’re saying really hit me hard.  The next couple weeks I started paying more attention to what I was saying, what my husband was saying, and what my friends were saying; and I was shocked even by the words that were coming out of my own mouth.  I’m a lover, I always try to find the good in people and situations and firmly believe we have no right to judge another person.  However, my words were not reflecting that.  Even worse was listening to my husband who doesn’t have the same moral beliefs I do, my friends weren’t any better.

You can love people you don’t know, aren’t around, and may never speak to simply by showing respect through your words.  I know that there is freedom of speech and we all have the right to say whatever we want to, but that’s where love comes in.  Just because we have that freedom doesn’t mean we should use it in an offensive way.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve said something was ‘gay’ when I was referring to a less than ideal situation.  It was wrong of me to say, and though I completely believe we’re all the same, I never meant to offend anyone by saying it.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve said something or someone was ‘retarded’ because they did something wrong.  This really upsets me and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to deal with such issues.  I stopped saying this years ago when my eyes were opened to how offensive it sounds, but I constantly hear it from my husband and friends and encourage you all to be more sensitive with how you use it.

I’m sorry for all the times I called something ‘lame’ or ‘dumb’.  The inability to function with ease and speak freely is something I can’t understand and have no right to use it the way I have.

I’m sorry for all the times I bunched people together because of their skin color or gender, for laughing at the jokes, and not standing up enough to what I believe in.

We are all the same.  No matter what we look like, no matter who we love, no matter how capable or handicap we are…we are all the same.  There shouldn’t need to be gay rights, women’s rights, religious rights, black rights…..there should just be equal rights for everyone.  Love is acceptance, we don’t have to live the same lifestyle, but that doesn’t give us the right to look down on someone else that does.

Judgement is something that comes naturally to all of us, it’s one of those things that we can’t help.  But I would encourage you all to reflect on your judgement of someone or something and be careful with how you use your words.  This is going to be my goal, same love for everyone, no matter what situation they’re in.




  16 Responses to “Same Love”

  1. I so, so, so love this song. Every time I hear it, it tears me up.

  2. Excellent post! I love the song as well, and I agree that after I listened to it the first time it made me think about the shit people say all the time. I’ve been doing my best to be more considerate and to hold those around me to better standards as well. Keep it up Popsie! :-)

  3. I’m amazed that this song hs affected people so strongly, but if it means people are getting on board with watching their language I’m thrilled. I grew up being told that words have power, and I still believe that. I’ve been criticized for being “too PC”, but like you said, I don’t think everyone realizes what they’re saying.
    I don’t agree with everything you said, but that doesn’t even matter. Good for you for waking up. *smiles*

    • I’m curious why you’re amazed this song is affecting people so strongly, and would also love to know your point of view as well, whether or not we agree.

      • To me these are things that homosexual, bisexual, and trans individuals have been saying all along, so it saddens me to see that their stories are only being acknowledged now that a heterosexual, cisgender, White man has spoken up. That’s what amazes me, that it took this song to make people listen to a message that has been around for years. I fully understand thay allies are neccessary, but I’m frustrated that at just how neccessary. I mean, I’m happy it’s helping, but I question if this is really challenging the status quo. It shouldn’t have taken hearing this song for my friends to stop calling every difficult exam or long line “gay” when I’ve been calling them out on it for ~years~
        That’s why we need movements for justice for specific groups of people, beyond human rights. Not being tortured, that’s a human right. Not being told your sexuality is a lie, that’s a right bisexual and asexual individuals still need. Not being told you’re just being lazy, suck up the pain, that’s a right individuals with chronic pain symptoms still need. Not being considered sexual playthings by White men because of your skin tone/eye shape/stereotype, that’s a right Asian, Black/African-American, Hispanic/Latina women still need. Not being killed because your gender identity and genetalia don’t “match up”, that’s a right transgender people still need. When people speak of rights for a specific group, there’s usually a reason, so I can’t say, “We’re all human” and leave it at that.
        Sorry for the wall of text, but I wanted to try to explain properly.

        • I, for one, loved your “wall of text”!

        • Oh, I wasn’t saying that this isn’t stuff that hasn’t been said all along, and I’m certainly not saying that this is the first time I’ve had my eyes open to things either. I also understand why we need movements for justice, absolutely, I was simply saying that it’s sad we can’t all come together enough to say we all deserve to be treated equally.

          If you listen to the words of the song, he’s obviously very passionate about the subject, and is close to his heart having a close family member that’s gay. Saying that it’s sad that it’s only now being acknowledged because a “heterosexual, cisgender, White man has spoken up” is wrong in my opinion. His gender, sexual preference, and race should have nothing to do with your feelings toward the song and is exactly what it’s about. If a homosexual, black man wrote this song, would you have the same feelings? It’s not fair to say something is off about it simply because he isn’t gay. He’s speaking up for what he believes in, just like anyone should, and just because his sexual preference isn’t for the same sex, doesn’t mean his words are less important than those who are.

          • I think my point was missed. My problem isn’t who he is or what the song is about, what bothers me is that people who wouldn’t listen to homosexuals critique heterosexism, wouldn’t listen to Black/African-Americans critique hip hop’s homophobia, would listen to Macklemore.
            I feel it’s because he is admired and respected because of (not in spite of) who he is-and a cisgender heterosexual White man is a part of who he is. (Mr. Will feels it’s because he spoke without aggression, making people more inclined to listen. I completely agree, but I feel the lack of anger relates back to his position in society.)
            That being said, I never intended to imply that he isn’t entitled to an opinion because of his privilege. I agree with you that his opinion isn’t less valid because of his orientation/race/gender identity. However, I don’t agree with the people that think his opinion is ~more~ valid because of his orientation/race/gender identity, which is precisely what is happening.

            I was wrong about one thing. Your words about your eyes being opened and your new attention to your speech made me think you were one of those people. I misunderstood. Upon re-reading this was something you were already thinking about and you chose a recent, relevant song to launch the discussion. I sincerely apologize for offending you, and I want you to know that I meant no disrespect.

          • I don’t think anyone does think his opinion is any more valid because of his orientation/race/or gender…I think it’s not often that someone in this genre of music would express such feelings through their music, which is what makes him stand out (apart from other hip hop/rap artists). Now, I don’t listen to much hip hop or rap, but my husband does, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never heard another person in this genre write a song like this one.

            I think the important thing is that it’s a positive message and if it reaches someone and touches them, that’s what’s important.

          • Oh, and I wasn’t at all offended! :) If I was concerned about being offended I wouldn’t have asked you to share your thoughts also! I know there’s no disrespect!!! ((hugs))

        • Ryn,
          You know I love you, and you know I’m pretty much pro whatever people want to do so long as it isn’t hurting someone. I agree that it is messed up that it took a white cisgender man singing about this for it to matter to a lot of people, but I want to offer my opinion (one I’ve caught hell for time and time again, but it’s my opinion):

          He didn’t come to everyone from a place of anger. He wrote from the heart, from an inner ideal of better circumstances for everyone. Think about it this way… (and I swear, I’m not trying to minimize what anyone goes through): If all you ever hear is negativity from someone who has positive ideology and wants better for themselves and everyone else…. There is a shut off. Even the most positive idea ever can be tainted with negativity.

          Look at different religions. Ideologically, if everything was listened to things would be better.. but it’s all pick and choose, mix and match. Everyone uses the negative aspects to try to make people see their way. What happens? A big disconnect.

          Look at race issues: Everyone just wants to be treated fairly, so they try.. but they get angry, and get mad.. and coming from a place of anger, there’s another big disconnect.

          Any time there is an issue that people are divided on, when either side gets angry and goes into attack mode: There is a big disconnect. The other side stops listening because they feel attacked.

          It doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make the targeting of transgender people okay. It doesn’t make discrimination based on orientation fair. It doesn’t make racism fair, or okay. These are all very important issues, but speaking up for rights and getting angry are different entirely.

          My biggest issue is this: Don’t discount someone that is on the same side as you because they aren’t an archetype of the cause.

          Go arm in arm with the people that will fight with you, regardless of your cause. Ally with decent humans regardless of gender, shape, sexual orientation, religion, shoe size.

          Be the human you want the rest of the world to be, and maybe you’ll influence someone else to just be a decent human too.

  4. Thank you for this post. I have similar feelings about this song and I think it’s amazing that it really is getting people to talk about these issues, things some of us never even considered before. I think it’s really too bad that some people in the queer/lLGBT community are upset by this song, and Macklemore gaining success because of it. As a queer person myself, I am very moved by this song and appreciate that someone from outside the community is bringing attention to it (even if the public’s awareness may have something to do with his straight, white, male privilege). Actually, in a class I took on stereotyping/prejudice/discrimination (I’m a psychology major), we discussed research that shows how it is often times more effective for individuals to speak out on behalf of groups being discriminated against, rather than members of the group speaking out for themselves. So, I appreciate what Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have done, as well as Mary Lambert (who is a lesbian, btw) who is featured in the song.

    • I’m so glad you left this comment! I first heard Mary Lambert before even hearing the song on the radio and fell in love with her voice! Thank you for adding your thoughts to this post and I’m glad the song also moved you!

  5. Obviously there is still a tremendous amount of work to do to help people understand that Love is universal. As a Bi or perhaps to be more descriptive a Pansexual man, I just want to say Thank You, Property Of Potter for putting this on your blog.

  6. I love how you opened yourself up and shared like this with all of us. Opening up on subjects like this is hard, you never know what people will think or say. It leaves you very vulnerable. I applaud you for being brave. For saying what many of us on the outside are realizing but don’t know the politically correct way to say it. I feel the same way as you. I’ve had my eyes opened to many things over the past year and changed my opinion of a lot of things too. HUGS HUGS HUGS, thank you for this post.


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