Nov 222013

The Mea Culpa Silicone Whip from Sex and Metal

- Gorgeous design
- Handcrafted
- Well made
- Safe, easy to clean materials
- Provides different sensations
- Quite large/harder to store
- Learning curve for use
- Might be too intimidating/intense for some




The Mea Culpa from Sex and Metal is a silicone whip that’s sure to put you in your place.  Mea Culpa is a noun that is “a statement in which you say that something is your fault”.  Whether you’re in a dom/sub relationship or simply enjoy a little punishment in your play, this whip is bound to correct your bad behavior.

The force behind the impact is totally up to you.  Lighter slaps are great to start with, but it’s not difficult to build up to stronger blows.  The sensations can range from hard thuds, to sharp stinging sensations depending on how the impact is delivered.  The handle itself was not designed to be inserted into the body, but the ball on the end can be used as a massage aid.  It’s easy to apply pressure where you need it, either before or after your delicious punishment; making it fairly versatile.

The overall design of the whip is very bold looking, but can be used by and on any gender, in any type of relationship.  It’s likely to intimidate beginners based on the look and size alone, but will work for anyone who feels adventurous.  If you purchase The Mea Culpa and end up feeling too intimidated by it, you can always use it as a prop in some sexy boudoir photos for your special someone.


All the products available from Sex and Metal are handcrafted by artisans and built to last.  The Mea Culpa is made from silicone and raw steel, bringing you a sharp sting and a striking handle.  Silicone is a body-safe material that doesn’t contain latex or phthalates, and is non-porous.  You can safely use it on any area of the body, and easily share if properly cleaned.  For regular use you can wipe the end down with a toy wipe or cleaner, or carefully wash with antibacterial soap and warm water.  If it comes in contact with bodily fluids, you can also clean it with a 10% bleach solution to disinfect.   As with any silicone item, use caution around silicone lubricants since they sometimes don’t react well to each other and could potentially damage the surface of the whip.


Untitled-3The silicone part of the whip has a shiny surface that slides easily across your skin.  It does attract very fine dust/dirt that makes it appear more gray in color than black (if you chose the black silicone when making your purchase), but washes off easily.  There’s a lot of flex and movement to this area, which is important because of its purpose.  It sort of sags when you hold the whip straight, and the end itself folds at least a little no matter how you’re holding it.

Untitled-4The handle is polished steel which is coated with a clear finish to bring out the natural beauty of the piece.  Surrounding it are three rows of twisted metal which not only adorn it, but help keep your grip during use.  These small details don’t strongly effect use, but certainly make a statement.  Each row is welded onto the handle prior to being clear coated, making them impossible to break off and totally smooth in your hand.  Being handcrafted, you can naturally Untitled-7see the weld marks and they don’t look perfect.  That being said, I actually really enjoy the way it looks; sometimes small imperfections truly add to the overall appearance.

At the top of the handle are two pieces that look like spikes.  These are in place not only to look aggressive, but to hold the silicone strongly in place.  It’s very well done and would be difficult to accidentally damage or cause it to come apart.  The center of the silicone feels like there’s a thick tube inside (at the base where it connects with the handle) that prevents the entire length from sagging.


This bad boy was designed to look fierce!  I’ve seen a variety of different whips, but I’ve never seen anything quite like this.  The rolled silicone is something totally new to me and is called Dragon’s Tongue.  When you look at it and feel the fiery sting, it’s obvious why it has that title.  The tip of the whip comes to a point, and when you flick your wrist the right way, it sends a burning sting wherever it connects to the body.


Sex and Metal gives you two options for silicone colors (Black or White) and two options for your handle (Natural Steel, or Candy Apple Red); giving you a choice to best match your tastes.  I love the look of steel and love black, so those were the options I chose.  As you can see from comparing my personal photos to the ones on the website, each product will differ slightly since they’re each handcrafted.  There were two obvious differences with mine.  The ball on the end of the one I Untitled-8received is a darker color than the handle and doesn’t have the same surface design.  It doesn’t change usability and doesn’t take away from the appearance.  The other difference are the weld marks being on the back of the handle, which actually enhances the appearance.

The size of The Mea Culpa is a little surprising when you first have it in your hands.  Though the site has the size information directly on the product page, it’s a totally different experience holding it in your hands.  The full length of this whip is 29 1/4″; 9″ for the handle and 20 1/4″ for the Dragon’s Tongue.  It only differs slightly from the measurements provided, but is very common with handcrafted products and doesn’t change the way it functions.

With the handle being made from steel, it’s no surprise there’s some weight to this whip.  It’s quite solid, but takes a while for your arm to grow tired from use.



After browsing the Sex and Metal website for what seemed like hours, I was finally able to come up with a short (okay, fine…it’s long) list of products I have to have from them.  The Mea Culpa was the first whip that made it onto the list; with the Dragon’s Tongue silicone and the gorgeous handle, I couldn’t resist!

It shipped quickly and arrived in a plain brown box that’s completely discreet.  I actually had to pause for a moment to think what it might be.  When I opened it up, the silicone was simply folded over and placed inside as is.  There was nothing surrounding it apart from some brown paper that prevented it from moving around during shipment.

My first impression of the whip was shock.  Though the size is stated on the product page, it was very surprising at first to see it in person.  Once that shock wore off, I couldn’t get over how stunning it was!  The sexy black silicone, the smooth steel handle, and the gorgeous twisted metal surrounding it.  My husband’s reaction was equally priceless; eyes growing wide, tracing his fingers over every detail, and mentioning how ‘bad ass’ it was.  Yeah, we were excited to try it out!

My husband and I aren’t in a dom/sub relationship and don’t participate in much of anything that looks like BDSM.  That being said, we recently discovered the fun of impact play and have been testing the waters.  We’ve tried a variety of paddles and some super cheap crops, but this was the first whip we’d ever used.

I told him to ease me into it, since I was quite unsure how extreme the whip would be.  He listened well and I was surprised at how loud the slap sounded, without causing pain.  He went easy on me a few times and asked if I was ready for more.  The next few blows were much harder, but he was still learning how to use the whip.  Rather than snapping his wrist back and catching me with the tip, he was hitting me solidly with the thicker part of the silicone.  It created a very ‘thuddy’ sensation that was manageable.  As he continued, he learned how to really snap it, and that’s when I really started feeling what this whip can do.

Naturally my husband is, perhaps unintentionally, more gentle with me than he needs to be.  Be loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me, so I think it’s harder for him to really hit me hard in general.  With that said, I think he’s starting to get over that a little bit.  When the tip of the silicone connects with your skin in just the right way, it literally feels like it slices you.  This was a new sensation for me.  I’ve felt an overwhelming burn from paddles before, I’ve felt stings, but never have I felt like something cut into my body.

I loved it!

Untitled-9When we were finished, I reached around and rubbed my warmed skin.  I could feel welts where the silicone hit perfectly, and we both were pleased with the results.  This photo was taken about ten minutes after we were finished, so some of the red had already started to fade.  The welts lasted a bit longer, probably thirty minutes to an hour, but didn’t cause me discomfort while I was sitting down.  Obviously the harder you’re hit, the longer the sensation will last, but I was extremely pleased with the results we personally had.  If you have a partner you totally trust, it really doesn’t matter if you’re new to impact play or not.  Being able to ease into it was key for us, and we couldn’t be more pleased with our experience!

If you’re interested in purchasing The Mea Culpa Whip or another gorgeous handcrafted BDSM product, you can by clicking the banner below.

The Mea Cupla Whip was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review.  This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.

Oct 182013

My breasts have never been attractive to me.

When I was six years old I received my first training bra.  Being a chubby child and living in a home that required excessive modesty, my mother felt it necessary.  I remember it in detail, being white and having an illustrated hippo lifting weights on the front.  I only realize now how wrong that image was.

Once I hit puberty, my breasts started to truly develop.  Still, I was ashamed.  I watched my older sister fill out and blossom, while my breasts developed into different sizes.  No one ever discussed what was normal or not and I felt embarrassed by their lopsided appearance; just another part of my body to be insecure about.

At the age of 16, my first boyfriend fondled my breasts.  It was the first time anyone had touched me there apart from myself, and even then I avoided it apart from washing in the shower.  I felt guilty because of my beliefs at the time, and it took a long time for me to forgive myself for allowing it to happen.

My ex husband was the first man to see my bare breasts, and they never interested him much.  He made me feel as though he disapproved since he lacked any desire for them, and I was too young and shy to discuss it with him.  We were together for four years, and he only touched me there on a few occasions.

On October 19th, 2005 I found out I was pregnant with my first child.  As the months progressed I watched as my areolae changed from a soft pink to a darker brown and nearly doubled in size.  I was embarrassed by this change, and though I knew it was normal, I felt they were even uglier.  They no longer looked sweet and youthful, I felt like they were somehow tainted.  I tried to embrace this new development, tried to take it as another mark of motherhood, but it killed the little confidence I did have.

Around seven months into my pregnancy I started producing colostrum.  Watching this thick, yellow fluid leaking from my nipples was surprising, but gave me a sense of peace.  I had always planned on breastfeeding my baby and this was proof that my body had set the gears in motion to produce the milk my infant would be nourished by.

My daughter was a natural at nursing, and I found immense comfort in knowing my breasts were able to supply everything she needed for the first few months of her life.  I went on to nurse my first for 20 months, my second daughter for 18 months, and my third daughter for 11 months.  Being able to nurse my children was extremely important to me, and no matter how ugly I felt they were, I took immeasurable pride in knowing their nourishment was coming from me.

The color of my areolae did lighten up, and leveled into a light tan color once I was finished nursing, but having babies did a number to their shape.  How much my breasts sag bothers me all the time.  They’re not large, they aren’t weighed down, they’re just exhausted and limp.  It often pains me to see them, wishing so badly my husband would be able to enjoy full, perky breasts, but I know that thought is just my insecurities shining through.

My husband does enjoy them, and since we’ve been together I’ve realized how much I enjoy nipple stimulation and the feel of his hands caressing them.  It’s something I never knew before because I was too ashamed to explore and worse, to ask my ex husband to touch me there.

I’ve always had a negative view of how my breasts look, but the idea of losing them is terrifying.  I’ll take my saggy, lopsided breasts and learn to love them, appreciate them, and work hard at letting go of the insecurities I have surrounding them.  Breast cancer is serious, and having a mastectomy is the smallest concern to someone battling breast cancer.  I admire the courage of those fighting, those who have lost their breast(s), and the loved ones who’ve watched this evil disease end the life of someone they cherished.

My breasts are far from perfect looking, but they’re healthy, they’re mine, and have served an amazing purpose.


Whether you have a family history of breast cancer or not, make sure to get properly screened.  Early detection is key, and men aren’t exempt.  To learn more about what breast cancer is, how it can be treated, or to donate to breast health services for women in need, visit the National Breast Cancer Foundation website.


Sep 272013

It’s easy to turn this into a game,
you’re so full of spunk and aren’t ashamed
of who we are and what we do together.
You think your ideas are your own
but lover, you’ve never come up with one.
I spin my web and capture you with ease,
knees bent, begging for release,
obviously enjoying every second of
this mess we love to make.
We take these turns and change our minds,
who’s on top and who’s behind;
it’s funny how you think at times you decide,
but we both know who’s in control.