Jul 272013
 

Jackhammer Jesus

Pros:
– Silicone
– Unique
– Great shape
– High Quality
– Available in many color options
Cons:
– Controversial (could be a pro)
– Shape takes getting used to
– Not at all discreet
– Doesn’t come with storage pouch
Overall:

4star

Untitled-6**Jackhammer Jesus is a silicone dildo put out by a super interesting company called Divine Interventions.  This company makes really unique and somewhat controversial adult products.  They have both religious toys and non-denominational products, giving an option for those who feel that it’s wrong to use religious figures in this sense.  I, personally, see this as nothing more than an interesting toy, and mean no disrespect to those who are religious.**

-Use-

JJ (Jackhammer Jesus) is a dildo that can be used for both vaginal and anal penetration.  The great ‘t’ at the base prevents the toy from accidentally slipping inside of you, and its ergonomic shape makes it comfortable to hold during use.  Always make sure to use a condom if you’re planning on using it anally and vaginally in the same session, and sterilize between uses or if you’re sharing the dildo with someone else.

This dildo is great for solo play, but can also be used with a partner.  The way the base is shaped does prevent it from being harness compatible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use it with a partner.  The silicone of this toy is very soft, but you do want to use caution when thrusting.  The length makes it more likely for the cervix to be bumped, so be careful that you’re not thrusting too hard.

Because there are no internal working parts, JJ can safely go with you into the shower, tub, pool, etc. without being concerned about something going wrong, but I would avoid leaving the dildo out in the open and unattended if you don’t live alone or you’re expecting visitors.  Nothing about this toy is discreet and because of the controversial nature, it may cause grandma to write you out of the will.  You’ve been warned.

-Material/Feel-

JJ is made entirely out of body-safe silicone.  Silicone is a great choice and is one of the best materials for sex toys.  It’s non-porous, phthalates free, latex free, and can be fully sterilized.  There was no scent to the toy when I received it, which is also a great thing about silicone.  This particular silicone has some shine to the surface, but isn’t tacky or sticky feeling.  It does collect a little lint and does produce some drag, but that can easily be managed with the addition of some water-based lubricant.  

Untitled-8The surface of the toy is smooth, but has very interesting textures to it thanks to the overall design.  The head of the toy is quite obvious, and the under side of the shaft has a sort of rippled bulged area.  The ripples are wide and are more obvious on the sides of the toy, but can also be felt on the bottom.  They don’t extend to the top, but they don’t really need to.  This, paired with the bulbous head creates a good deal of stimulation, but might be overwhelming if you prefer toys that are totally smooth.

After the first few inches, you reach another interesting sensation on the top of the toy; the Jesus feet.  This area is a little strange at first.  The feeling is very obvious and can either be really stimulating or really uncomfortable depending on how relaxed you are and what you’re used to.  The good news is that the silicone is nice and soft and has a lot of give to it, so if this type of texture isn’t your thing, it will be less obvious than if you were using a toy made from a firmer silicone or other material.

There’s only one area where there’s an obvious seam that can be felt with your hands, but it’s 5 1/2″ from the tip of the toy and isn’t easily felt during use.  Because there is so much texture from other areas, this isn’t picked up on so it shouldn’t be an area of concern.

The amount of give to this toy is truly wonderful!  I prefer my silicone toys to be on the softer side, and this one was right on point!  It’s firm enough to apply pressure to the right areas, but has a great squish to it that makes it nice and comfortable.  It easily moves and bends in all the right ways.

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-Design/Size-

Available in seven different colors, there should be something for just about anyone; black, marbled blue, marbled red, marbled purple, marbled silver/black, marbled gold, and glow in the dark white.  The marbled coloring is truly beautiful and interesting!  According to the site, “Marbled” means that the dildo shimmers and shines with a metallic luster”.  Since each piece is made to order, you should expect a slight difference in coloring, but are sure to be impressed!

JJ is literally a crucifix with a phallic bottom.  If you cover the bottom of the toy with your hand, it literally looks like nothing more than a silicone crucifix (’cause that would almost be normal…).  The details are extremely impressive, even down to where the nails would be in his hands and feet.  It’s almost creepy how realistic it is, but I’m that much more blown away because of it.

I wasn’t drawn to this piece because it was Jesus or that it resembled a crucifix.  I was drawn to the amazing site, and this piece interested me the most because of the shape.  The top of the cross looked like it would be really easy to grip while thrusting and would help prevent my hand from cramping up during playtime; I wasn’t wrong.

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JJ isn’t a great travel companion for a few different reasons.  The first being the fact that this is probably one of the most taboo toys you could possibly own (or at least I’m assuming so?) and the second being the fact that this isn’t a small toy.  It’s not one you could easily toss in your purse for a little playtime on the go, and it might be rather embarrassing if someone were to see this while checking your bags at the airport.  If you have no shame, I proudly salute you, but some might prefer to keep this nicely stashed away at home.

The full length of my Jackhammer Jesus is 9 3/4″ with 7″ being insertable.  The girth of the toy only varies slightly thanks to the design.  The head of the toy starts at 4 1/2″ in circumference, and ends in 5″.  The entire shaft remains at 5″ after that; the cross itself growing thinner directly underneath the figure on the top.  It’s very impressive that they were able to make the whole shaft the same circumference (almost exactly) considering how much the shape changes.  The cross at the top is 4″ wide and fits nicely in your hand.

The size is large for a beginner, but would be a little small for a size queen.  It would take a lot of working up to if you’re not used to penetration, but the soft feeling should help some. In my opinion, the size is great for an average user, but the texture might be a bit much unless you’re used to it.

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-Care-

Silicone is quite easy to care for.  Before and after each use, you can wash with antibacterial soap and warm water, or your favorite toy cleaner.  Pay extra attention to cleaning in the little detailed areas of this piece, you don’t need lube or bodily fluids getting left behind (eww).  Using a soft toothbrush and lightly brushing it with some soap works well.  If you’re sharing with someone else or are planning on switching between orifices, you can boil the dildo for up to three minutes to sterilize it.  Divine Interventions recommends only sterilizing that way and not putting it into your dishwasher.  Though they didn’t state it, you can also wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution.

Silicone toys are compatible with water-based lubricants and Divine Interventions has you covered there as well.  They sell a water-based lube that they’ve creatively called Holy Water Lube.  This goes well with the theme of their shop, but your favorite water-based is perfectly suitable to use.

Storing JJ isn’t too bad, but it will require you to get your own container.  A gallon sized Ziploc would work well, or a larger sized toy pouch.  Either way, you want to make sure your dildo is in its own space to make sure nothing damages the surface of your toy.

-Packaging-

Your Divine Interventions toy arrives sealed in a plastic bag that’s shipped in a plain brown box.  When you open it up, you’ll find a little booklet about Inches for Charity and a napkin that says, ‘First Holy Communion‘ on it.  I truly thought that was the perfect little touch for a product like this.  The plastic bag surrounding the toy doesn’t have any markings on it and the toy is in full view because it’s clear.  The bag is torn/cut off and can’t be used for long term storage.

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-Experience-

 I was so anxious to try this out, especially after feeling how soft the silicone was.  We’ve been busy here lately, and the first chance I had to try it out was in the hands of my husband.  While he was going down on me, he started using the toy.  Now, it had been a little over a week since anything had been inside of me, and I was a little uncomfortable at first.  The head of the toy kept catching on my pubic bone which was a sensation I’d never experienced before.  I ended up having him stop because I just couldn’t get comfortable, and told myself that I would test it out again the next day.

Using it on my own was much better, not sure if it was because I was in full control or because I had gotten some action the night before, but it was a lot easier to handle.  The head was still an issue for me, and the feet were a little odd feeling, but once I turned the dildo on its side I was able to really enjoy it.  The sensations were awesome, and the discomfort was eliminated.

I’ve never been able to orgasm from internal stimulation, but when I paired the dildo with a clitoral vibe, it really enhanced the experience.  Overall, I think this is a really high quality piece (especially coming from a smaller company), is beyond interesting and unique, and provides good sensations.  I’m pleased with my experience and would highly recommend checking out all the interesting products available at Divine Interventions.

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Divine Interventions was kind enough to provide me this dildo free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review.  This disclaimer is in compliance with FTC guidelines. 

  3 Responses to “Review: Jackhammer Jesus from Divine Interventions”

  1. That silicone is gorgeous!

  2. I love their silicone, but this one is much too big for my bits *laughs* I figured the handle would make it a good partnered toy though, so I’m surprised it was uncomfortable.

  3. I’m still in love with my Diving Nun & Virgin Mary versions. If you haven’t yet, you MUST try them!

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