Jul 012013

Having three children, there are many days I look at them with pride; so impressed by their accomplishments and how wonderfully they’re all developing into amazing young ladies.  Still, there are many moments where I just shake my head listening to some of the things that come out of their mouths.

For some reason, my children always end up enjoying the word, ‘cock’.

Before you think negatively of me, it certainly isn’t because they’ve heard me screaming it out from the bedroom (fortunately they’re heavy sleepers!).  No, instead, innocent words become vulgar when filtered through their developing speech.  My oldest daughter, the one that was lucky enough to have my undivided attention, was very articulate from a young age.  She never choked out the word ‘cock’, intending to say something else.  Ah, her innocence!

My middle daughter was the first to use such vulgarity; proclaiming that her ‘cocks’ belonged on her feet.  While my jaw dropped and I tried to hide my laughter, my husband found it especially funny and decided to toss her a sock of his from the clean laundry basket I had just finished folding.  After he asked her what it was, we both died in laughter as she told us it was “Daddy’s cock”.  Oh joy!

Though it was funny, being the responsible mother that I am, I started working on it with her to correct it.  I would repeat the ‘s’ sound at the beginning of the word to help her understand that SOCK begins with that sound.  ”S S S SOCK” I would say to her, to which she would repeat, “S S S Daddy cock”.  No matter how many times I would repeat it to her, it always ended in the same result.  I gave up after a while, and tried to avoid allowing her to discuss socks, especially outside of the house.

Eventually, she mastered the ‘s’ at the beginning of the word, but not before my husband took a video of her innocent vulgarity.

Fast-forward a couple years, and we have a new little smut talker in the making.  My youngest daughter turned two only a few months ago, and though you can understand just about everything she says, she still stumbles over a few words.

Smut word #1: Fuck = Fork

Smut word #2: Douche = Juice

and today…we officially get to add COCK to the list.

We had to run a few errands today at Walmart and I always try to engage my children in light chat so that the time doesn’t drag for them.  Knowing that my sweet little girl takes so much pride in her shoes, I decided to point to them and let her know that I thought she had, “Nice Crocks”.  She gave me her big grin that melts my heart, angled her head to the side and said, “Mmhmm, nice cocks!”

I froze, then checked to see who else may have heard.  It looked like I was in the clear, but my husband, thinking it was overly humorous, decided to mention how lovely he also thought they were.  We proceeded down the aisle as she called out to everyone, “Nice cocks!  Nice cocks!”

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she talks to everyone she sees and loves repeating herself.

Oh the joys of parenting!

Have you ever heard a child say something vulgar?  Was it intentional, or because they weren’t pronouncing something right?