Jul 212013

I met my husband in February of 2010.  We met online through a dating site and after the first introductory exchanges were made, we were chatting all day, every day.  We had seen photos through the site, but I didn’t really have any of my full body. I made sure he knew I wasn’t some thin, girly girl before he started forming a real opinion of me, and he let me know right away that it didn’t matter to him since he had once been a large man himself and knew what it was like to be judged based on his size.

I wanted to believe him, but just wasn’t sure.  My past experiences had led me to believe most men are very shallow when it comes to a woman’s appearance, and I was skeptical.  We kept our interaction web and phone based for a while since we both wanted to get a good feel for the other.  It was pretty obvious that we were smitten, but I didn’t want to get burned.

Toward the end of March, we decided to meet up and go on a date.  When he arrived at my house, I stood at the front door watching him get out of his car.  When he started advancing toward my house, I ran into the next room and tried to walk slowly to the door.  I still managed to get there before he did, eliminating his need to knock.  He came into the house and instantly gave me a hug.  I was shaking, could hardly hear him speak because my heart was beating so loud in my ears, and looked like a total fool (I would imagine).

We hadn’t made actual plans for the day, but decided to go see a movie.  We stopped in to see what time the movie started, and realized we had time for lunch first.  He took me out to Applebees and I did the typical girl thing and ordered a salad.  Truth be told, the only reason why I ordered that was because it was the cheapest thing on the menu (lame, I know..but I’ve always been like that).  Sitting across from him, it was the first time I was able to make eye contact for more than a second at a time.  I was so shy, nervous, and knew that I already had deep feelings for his man.  Did he feel the same?  Was he enjoying my company?  Was he going to walk away from me after nearly two months of getting to know each other?

It seemed like we were getting along well, but once we sat down for the movie, I knew everything we had discussed was exactly how he really felt.  He reached over, took my hand in his, and proceeded to rub his thumb along the top of my hand and down onto my fingers.  I was going crazy inside!  I had never been touched this way and I felt like I was going to explode in my seat!  I leaned over and told him he was driving me crazy.  He later told me he thought that was a bad thing and almost let go, but when I kept holding his hand he realized I didn’t mean it in a bad way.

After the movie, he grabbed my hand as he drove back to my house.  I was on cloud nine and was so pleased that things were going so well.  We went inside and sat on the couch, about three feet from each other.  We spent a lot of time talking, and much of that was him saying he couldn’t believe how beautiful I was.  Being shy, and not used to getting this type of attention, I couldn’t stop myself from blushing and turning away.  This man…wow!  When it was time for him to leave, I walked him out to his car.  We hugged again and he walked to his door.  I could see a strange hesitation before he got in.  I knew he wanted to kiss me…it was beyond obvious, but he didn’t.  We had discussed it prior to meeting up, so I instantly sent him a text after he left and asked him about it.  He was so sweet, and had so much respect for me.  He wasn’t sure if he should or not, so he decided to wait.

A week passed before we were able to see each other, and as soon as I opened the door to my house, he planted a kiss on my lips.  I think he was so nervous he just wanted to get it out of the way.  It wasn’t passionate, it wasn’t tender or loving; it felt more like the way you would kiss your grandmother, but it was the ice breaker.  We spent the rest of the afternoon laying in my bed, ‘watching movies’ and kissing…touching…it was amazing!

He didn’t just want to get in my pants…he loved me enough to want to take things slowly and respect my boundaries.  I was far more into him than I cared to admit and I was terrified that I was only going to get hurt.  The more he showed care for me, the more scared I became.  I loved him.  Deeply.  But after having been hurt pretty badly by my previous relationship, I wasn’t sure if this was going to last.  I let my fear get in the way for a short time before deciding it wasn’t worth it.  He had already told me he was in love with me weeks ago…so I let go and shared my feelings with him as well.

Our relationship advanced quickly.  Marriage was discussed, moving in together, having a baby…I already had two children and a failed marriage, I wasn’t sure I was ready for any of that.  When I told him I didn’t ever want to get married again, I could see the intense pain on his face.  He loved me, he wanted me to belong to him, share his name…and after thinking about it for a while, I realized that his happiness was my own and if it made a difference to him, than it was worth it to me.

We moved in together at the end of July (three years ago next Wednesday) and started our life together.  About a month after that, we found out we were pregnant.  Our joy was multiplying faster than I could keep up!  We were in love, planning on getting married, a baby on the way, and couldn’t have been happier.  On September 22, 2010 I officially became his property.  We had a small ceremony in the backyard with his parents and my daughters and had a get together a week later with family who wanted to celebrate.  Our love was strong, obvious, and the kind you seldom see.

Yes, we fought.  Yes, we had our issues.  But they were quickly resolved with apologies and kisses and making love.  I felt like everything I had ever wanted was finally coming together.  I was so blessed, so happy, so high on life.

And then it happened.

We had the alarm set for our baby appointment that day, and he went upstairs to use the bathroom as I was stretching and getting dressed.  I heard him call down to me and say that he needed help because he thought his mother was dead.  I rushed upstairs and into his parent’s bedroom (we were living in the finished basement of their house at the time) where I saw his mother on the floor, father kneeling by her side, and my husband…my beautiful, strong, amazing man…looking so broken and lost.  They were on the phone with 911 and were doing everything they were told.  Nothing was changing her condition.  She was dead.

It was so sudden, so unexpected…so heartbreaking.  She was an amazing woman and I’ll never understand why she had to go so soon.  That night, my husband made love to me…telling me that our love didn’t need to change just because we were going through such a hard time.

I wish that had stayed true.

The months that followed were a blur.  We both were struggling in our own ways and didn’t know how to connect with each other any longer.  We tried to stay close with each other, but the world around us seemed to be crashing down.  He wasn’t the same person.  He had grown bitter, angry, and surrounded himself with walls.  The man that once told me I was beautiful every day, was always angry with me.  He stopped complimenting me, fights happened often, and our passion died.

It’s been a few years since then, and we still struggle.  We’ve almost given up more times that I can count, but I think we both have a deeply seeded connection that keeps us together.  Things aren’t often easy, but they’re getting better.  I miss the man I met a few years ago, but every now and then I get a glimpse of him..and remember what made me fall in love with him in the first place.  I believe that things will turn around.  I can tell it’s still going to be a while, but I have faith that we’ll be able to get through anything together.



Jul 182013

Happy Rabbit G-Spot Rechargeable Silicone Vibrator

- Rechargeable
- Silicone
- Easy to use
- Separate motors
- Quiet
- Weak
- Won’t fit everyone’s anatomy
- Details on clitoral arm
- Expensive



The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit G-spot vibrator is a dual stimulating toy; pairing both internal and external stimulation in one.  Designed to pleasure some of your most sensitive areas, the shaft of this toy is meant to be inserted to excite the G-spot while the arm of the toy is made to connect with your clitoris.  Best used by those possessing a vagina, Happy Rabbit is great for solo play, but can be handed over to a partner.  Because there’s a lot of give to the shaft, there’s little worry about causing your partner discomfort, but make sure to speak up if they’re thrusting too aggressively.

Though this toy technically has a base, it’s not the greatest toy to use for anal play.  It would work, but Lovehoney offers many other products that would work much better.  This vibe also isn’t the best if you like using toys in the tub or shower.  Being that it’s only splash proof, you can’t submerge it and should be careful around water in general.  Washing shouldn’t be a problem, just make sure the adaptor hole on the toy is properly plugged first.


Happy Rabbit is made out of silicone for the insertable portion and clitoral arm, and plastic for the base.  Both are body-safe and are some of the safest materials to use because they’re non-porous, phthalate free, contain no latex, and won’t cause issues with your skin like jelly materials often do.  The silicone on this particular toy has a matte appearance and a rubbery feel to the surface.  It’s not tacky, but does tend to pick up dust particles (though not as much as shiny silicone does).  The surface doesn’t have any intentional texture to it, but does have a very obvious seam that runs the entire length of the toy (front and back) and the face of the rabbit has some definition to it as well.  The seam can only be felt during use if you’re extremely sensitive to texture.  The face of the rabbit, however, is another story.  Though the ‘nose’ of the rabbit is very small, the sensation it provides will either be stimulating, or uncomfortable.  Unfortunately for me, it was the latter.


There’s no give at all in the base since that’s the plastic area of the toy, but there’s a lot of flex in the shaft of the toy, the ears of the rabbit, and in the clitoral arm itself.  It offers the most resistance in the arm, but that’s only because it was designed to provide a good amount of pressure.  The ears are extremely flimsy and for those of us that need a good amount of pressure or power, are pretty much only there for looks.  If they were thicker or shorter they would be better, but it seems like they were trying to make the length work for most rather than worry about the pressure you could get from them.


On top of the shaft being very flexible, it also has a lot of give to it.  Just below the G-spot curve is quite firm, but about 2 1/2″ from the tip it feels like it’s hollow in the center.  It doesn’t feel that way throughout the whole shaft, since the motors create firm areas that can only be lightly squeezed, but it is a strange feeling in your hands.  The fact that it has so much give is great for those that prefer slimmer toys.  The give makes the toy feel a little smaller that it is, making it comfortable to insert and easy to use.



The Happy Rabbit’s tip has a great curve to it that was designed to help target and stimulate the G-spot.  With the shaft being without texture, it’s obvious that the end was designed to help keep your focus on the targeted area, and little else.  The clitoral arm resembles a rabbit thanks to the ears and face, but isn’t done in a creepy sort of way.  The ears and nose are obvious, but the rest of the resemblance is left to the shape of it.  The ears can easily be spread apart, with one ear on each side of your clitoris, or you can put them on one side or the other.

The base of the toy is where the controls are located, and has a totally flat base.  The base makes it so that the toy can easily stand up straight when placed on a flat surface.  It’s also the widest area of the toy which makes it comfortable and easy to hold and control.  Between the white base and black silicone, is a strip of silver plastic.  This area doesn’t add anything to the toy as far as performance, but is a really nice added touch.

The size of this toy is fairly average, but will be either too large or too small for some users.  I wouldn’t consider it a beginner toy, but someone who’s used to at least some penetration should be all set to grab this one.  For those that enjoy a lot of girth, this won’t quite hit the spot for you.  It’s very average and will work best for those who enjoy average sized toys.  The length and base diameter can be found on the product page, but I wanted to give a few more measurements to see if this toy will fit your anatomy.  The circumference of the tip is 5″, the shaft is 4 1/4″ in the center but widens to 5″ right before the clitoral arm.  The full length of the clitoral arm (starting at where it connect to the shaft) is 3″ long, the ears make up 1 1/4″ of that.


This isn’t what I would call a travel friendly toy.  Though it doesn’t resemble a penis, it’s very obvious what this toy is and what it’s used for.  It would be very difficult to pass this off as something other than an adult product.  Because of that, it’s best to keep and use this toy at home, unless you’re not easily embarrassed.


Untitled-8The best thing about this vibrator is that it’s fully rechargeable.  You don’t have to worry about the cost of batteries since you can just plug it in to juice it up.  On the back of the base is a small hole that has a silicone plug over it.  The plug prevents any water from leaking into this area, so it’s important to keep it closed while you’re washing it.  When the plug is removed, the port is revealed.  The toy comes with its own adaptor and is very easy to use.  When it’s plugged into the toy and wall, the light will glow red until it’s fully charged.  Once the toy is all juiced up, the light will switch to green; showing that it’s ready for action.  The booklet it comes with says that it takes six hours to fully charge, but mine took approximately nine hours before the light changed.  Keep that in mind when charging for the first time.


The front of the base shows two buttons that sort of resemble a plump exclamation point.  The top button controls the vibrations of the shaft, and the bottom controls the clitoral arm.  There are no light indicators showing which setting you’re on, but the functions are very easy to understand.  There are two motors in the shaft that have five different settings.  The first three are your standard low, medium, and high; and the other two are patterns.  The first is pulsating, and the second is a back and forth pattern between the motor located near the base of the clitoral arm, and the one located near the tip of the toy.  One click turns the shaft on and brings you to the low setting, and each click after that will bring you to the next.  If you keep clicking the button, it will keep cycling.  The only way you can turn the toy off is by holding the button down for a few seconds.  When you turn the toy back on, it has held your place and will start on the same pattern you left off on.  The clitoral arm works in a similar way.  There is one motor and it only contains the steady low, medium, and high functions.  It turns on and off the same way that the shaft does and will also hold your place.

Sadly, the power behind this one is quite weak.  I need a lot of power in my toys in order to climax, and this one just couldn’t bring me there.  The vibrations are deeper than a lot and aren’t buzzy, but without the power behind them, they aren’t enough.  This would be perfect for someone that prefers a lighter stimulation, but power queens will only find this to be a tease and may even get frustrated by it.

The power can be felt strongest directly in the areas where the motors are, but can be felt throughout most of it.  I couldn’t feel it through the ears during use, but I’m also not very sensitive to vibrations.  The base does have the vibrations travel through it, but it doesn’t cause your fingers to tingle, which is nice.

Though it lacks in power, it’s very quiet.  Anyone who’s concerned about sound issues won’t have a problem with this one.  With some sort of white noise, you could use this with someone else in the same room with you, and they wouldn’t be able to hear it.  Through a closed door of a silent room, it wouldn’t be heard either.  So while it is weak, it is also very sound discreet.

The battery inside of it lasts a decent amount of time, but the length will depend on which setting you’re using.  The higher settings will obviously eat up more power than the weaker ones.  According to the product page, the battery should last two hours.  I haven’t used it for that long yet, but it hasn’t given up on me after using it collectively for 30 minutes on the highest setting.


Happy Rabbit G-Spot can be washed with antibacterial soap and warm water, or your favorite sex toy cleaner.  Be careful while you’re washing that the plug is firmly in place and try to avoid running water over that area.  Should you want to share this item with someone else, you’ll want to fully disinfect by wiping it down with a 10% bleach solution.  Because there are internal working parts, you can’t boil or put it into your dishwasher.

Using a water-based lubricant is your smartest option with this vibe since some other lubricants could potentially cause surface damage to the toy.

Included with your Happy Rabbit is a black drawstring storage pouch.  This is the perfect size to house and protect your toy from dust, lint, and surface damage.  It’s the best option for long term storage since the included packaging wasn’t designed to store the toy for long.


When your rabbit arrives it’s housed in a black box with a thin cardboard sleeve surrounding it.  The sleeve shows an image of the toy directly on the front, and provides information about the product on the side.  It’s not discreet, but it’s done tastefully.  The sleeve can be removed and discarded.  The top of the black box shows the words ‘get happy’ and has the Lovehoney logo next to it.  Those are the only marking on the box itself.  When you open the lid, the toy is in full view.  It’s housed in a plastic tray that prevents the toy from moving around inside of it.  The tray is thin and cheap and wasn’t meant to last.  Everything you need is included inside; the vibe, storage pouch, charger, and information booklet.  The booklet itself doesn’t have that much information in it, only the very basics of using the toy, but it’s printed in several languages.



While this vibrator is high quality and does boast many of the things I look for in a vibe, this one just wasn’t for me.  I had a few issues with it, but they might not be the same ones you would have.  The first issue I had was power.  I’m a power queen and this baby was just a warm up toy for me.  I couldn’t climax using this alone and had to reach for something else to finish up.  The second had to do with the ‘nose’ of the rabbit.  Rather than providing that pin-point stimulation I love so much, it felt like it was scratching my clitoris.  No matter how I shifted it, it remained uncomfortable if that area was against me.  I did manage to get it positioned in a way that was stimulating, but I was having to work for that pleasure.

If you’re sensitive to vibrations and need something that’s average in size, this would be a great toy to look into.  You can find the Happy Rabbit G-Spot Rechargeable Silicone Vibrator and more at Lovehoney.


Lovehoney was generous enough to provide this product to me free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review.  This disclaimer is in compliance with FTC guidelines.

Sultry Saturday

-Click to see other Sultry Saturday submissions-

Jul 172013

Oh the countless times you’ve crossed my mind!
I struggle to hold back and keep myself in line;
I know the risk, but strain to refrain
from what my heart thinks exists.
Do you see me? Have you looked my way?
I’d love to say you have but my jealous eyes
can’t hide the reality.
You aren’t mine, but you could be.
If you took the time to see inside of me.
Maybe someday I’ll catch your sight
but until then, my secret love,
I’ll push up my sleeves and put on my gloves.
There’s work to be done,
but never forget; I’m the one who takes care of
your dirty laundry.

-See other Wicked Wednesday entries by clicking below-

Wicked Wednesday... be inspired & share...


Jul 162013


 1. Would you rather be smart or awesome? Why?

- I would rather be smart.  I could spend the rest of my life coming up with awesome things I could do.

2. Would you rather french kiss a cat or pleasure a frog?

- Pleasure a frog.  I have issues with drool/mouths, and there’s no way I could put my mouth against that of a cat!


3. Would you rather live the rest of your life with Darth Vader’s voice or Alvin the Chipmunk’s voice?

- Alvin’s voice.  Being a female, I think it would be a little more likely for me to have a higher voice than a low one.

4. Would you rather sail the Caribbean on a week long FREE cruise with the ship’s crew and 20 five-year-old children or shovel coal in a coal mine for a month?

- I’d go on the cruise!  I’m a Mommy…I’m used to kids! ;)

5. Would you rather make an obscene phone call to your mother once a week or get a text message from your father every time he’s horny? Why?

- Uh, my mother.  My father and I don’t talk and considering his serious sexual dysfunction, I would find it beyond scary and disturbing.

6. Would you rather have dinner with all your exes at once or with five guys on death row having their last meal?

- Dinner with five guys on death row.  It would be interesting learning a little about them and how they feel knowing that this is it for them.  I have no desire to see any of my exes.

Bonus: Write one unique question for possible use in a future TMI Tuesday, and submit it as your bonus answer for this week.

- What strange areas of your body are ticklish and/or sensitive?

-See other TMI Tuesday entries by clicking below-

TMI Tuesday blog
Jul 152013

 SPUNK Lube Hybrid

- Safe for all toy materials
- Long lasting
- Never gets sticky
- Feels like the real thing
- Odd taste/smell




SPUNK Lube Hybrid is a personal lubricant that looks and feels just like cum!  The Hybrid is a blend of water and silicone which is safe to use with latex condoms, won’t stain your sheets if you happen to get a little careless during your playtime, and is safe with any toy material.  You get the long lasting feel of a silicone lube, without having to worry about it damaging the surface of certain toys or staining anything – Spunk Lube for the win!

Great for masturbation, this lube takes self pleasure to a whole new level!  With how similar it is to actual cum, it’s much easier to help your fantasies comes to life!  This lube will work with any toys that have a cum tube, and is great for gender play.  Whether you’re using a strap on to please your partner or to satisfy your male masturbation curiosities, Spunk Lube Hybrid has you covered.

For penetrative sex, it helps keep things nice and slick without needing to reapply.  A little goes a long way when it comes to both masturbation and intercourse.  Do keep in mind that you’ll need a little more if you’re planning on using it for anal penetration, but you never need a lot to get the results you’re looking for.

The ingredients list is fairly short, but those who have issues with glycerin and try to avoid parabens will want to pass on this one.  As with any product, test a small area prior to first use if you have sensitive skin.  It’s better to have a small reaction than a big one.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid Ingredients: Water, Cyclopentasiloxane, Cyclohexasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxymethylcellulose, Glycerin, Methylparaben


The feel of this lube is fantastic!  It’s super silky smooth and doesn’t have any texture to it; helping to eliminate the drag that is associated with certain toys.  Only a small amount needs to be applied to get the desired effect, and the results are wonderful!

The thickness of this lube is perfect!  When first dispensed, it stays in place for a long time before it starts to run.  This gives you ample time to apply it and get things started.  The similarities between cum and this lube are awesome; the coloring, the thickness, etc. but the greatest difference is that this stuff doesn’t get sticky as it absorbs into the skin.  Even during lengthy sessions, the lube doesn’t need to be reapplied and it’s more likely you’ll need to wipe it away when you’re finished than to apply more while you’re playing.

I’m extremely sensitive to anything sticky, it’s an issue I’ve always had, so I do notice a tiny bit of tackiness if you don’t clean up directly after your playtime.  This is a very small issue and one that can be eliminated by cleaning right away, but I did want to make note of it.


This particular lube is one that clearly wasn’t designed to be used as an oral enhancer.  It’s not flavored and feels a little funny in your mouth, almost like it’s coating your tongue with something silky.  The taste and smell remind me of bubbles in summertime and has a soapy element to it.  It doesn’t taste good, but the smell isn’t horrible.  It’s strong enough that you can smell it when it’s close to your face, but you shouldn’t be able to smell it otherwise.  Because of this, I would avoid using it when you plan on following up your play with oral stimulation.


SPUNK Lube Hybrid is available in 2 oz and 8 oz bottles.  I received the 2 oz bottle for a giveaway I won.  The bottle is clear plastic with a mostly black label on it and a black cap.  The cap on this size is a press top and is very easy to open with one hand.  The bottle is soft and easy to squeeze which is necessary in order to dispense some of the lube.  The label isn’t discreet, having the word ‘SPUNK’ in a very obvious area of the front, and the information on the other side is very telling; making it obvious what this product is and what it’s used for.  You can cut and remove the label if you need something more discreet, but it’s small enough that it tucks way nicely without being noticed.  The smaller size is suitable for travel and fits within TSA’s liquid rules for flying.

When it first arrives, it’s sealed inside a clear plastic bag and the label is extended up over the cap.  On the cap is a perforated area where you can simply twist the cap and open it (can be seen in the first image at the top).  This prevents the bottle from leaking and gives you confidence that the bottle wasn’t opened prior to receiving.


SPUNK Lube was one of those products where I had heard only good things about it, but since I don’t use lubricant that often I figured I would wait to grab some until my lube supply was dwindling.  I was so excited to see that I had won a bottle of the Hybrid; the one I was most curious about.  My husband had a good chuckle when he read the bottle, but I was excited to try it out.

Let me just say, I wasn’t disappointed.

blog5I tried the lube out with a few toys first and was extremely impressed with how long it remained silky.  Seriously, I think I could have played for an hour with this stuff and I wouldn’t have needed to reapply!  As I stated before, I noticed only the slightest tacky feeling after my session, but the average person probably wouldn’t even notice it.  The lube is easily cleaned from the body using only a wipe, and is easily washed off your toys.  Non-staining?  Safe for toys?  Long lasting?  Does it get any better?

-Something To Note-

Jeff, the creator, sent me the ingredients list to each of their lubes so you can compare them.  Pink is water-based and is great for the ladies who are sensitive to glycerin, though it does contain parabens.  Pure Silicone is a silicone-based lubricant that doesn’t contain glycerin or parabens; so no matter what your needs are, SPUNK Lube has a product that will work for you.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid Ingredients:
Water, Cyclopentasiloxane, Cyclohexasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxymethylcellulose, Glycerin, Methylparaben

SPUNK Lube Pink Ingredients:
Water, Cyclopentasiloxane, Cyclohexasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxymethylcellulose, Methylparaben, FD & C Red 40

SPUNK Lube Pure Silicone:
Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Cylopentasiloxane, Cyclohexasiloxane

I would highly recommend checking out this lube!  It’s a great product that can be used for just about anything!  Clicking the banner below will bring you to their website where you can purchase a bottle of your own!

Jul 122013

I used to always get so excited about the mail man coming, but lately nothing exciting has come in.  That changed today!  I saw him pull up close to the apartment and I felt myself perk up.  Could it be?  Could something exciting finally be arriving in the mail?  Without him even needing to knock, the door was opened.  He’s come to expect that since the packages used to flow in quite regularly.  A short greeting and the box was extended.  I excitedly brought it into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and cut through the tape on the box.  A big smile crossed my face as I pulled the lid open and saw my treasure.  My FIRST package from Lovehoney had arrived!  Call me mean, but I’m not going to tell you what it is.  Expect a review within the next couple weeks!